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Saturday, December 8, 2012

BDSM for Writers by Dr. Charley Ferrer

With the popularity of 50 Shades, many authors are turning toward BDSM and the possibilities of adding Dominance and submission it into their story lines. First I think it's important to understand what BDSM actually stands for. It's actually an acronym for Bondage, Disciple, Sadomasochism. However within the lifestyle it's also a common term which identifies the power exchange and Dominance and submission relationships. Individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationship do not consider themselves part of the BDSM “mentality”, however, do consider themselves part of the D/s community. The fact is that there are various levels of BDSM, from the pleasure seeker who wants a little kink with his sex before he runs home to his wife/girlfriend, to the adrenaline junkie (major pain slut) who wants to push himself as far as he can go (think in vanilla terms those extreme sports guys/gals), to those that actually embrace Dominance and submission as a way of life; and even further, to those individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationships and live it 24/7. And we haven't even discussed the subset that follows Gorean beliefs. Wow, talk about totally different. (No one ever mentions them.)  

Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not merely about Whips and chains. In many instances, toys are never used as the individuals, both Dominant and submissive, are interested in "service" and a spiritual and/or emotional connection. Also keep in mind that some Dominants do not use impact toys (Whips, Floggers, Paddles) to enforce their dominance but use a psychological impact--even Fear Play—never once laying a hand on the submissive. There are also those Dominants/Masters/Mistresses who use humiliation and extreme control, again never once lifting a finger. Plus many BDSM relationships don't involve sexual contact. I can go on and on in this topic however I'm sure you are getting the idea of how intricate and diverse the world of BDSM is.  

If you’re considering writing in this genre and want to create realistic characters which  will have your readers devouring your books and craving more, please join my upcoming  BDSM for Writers Basics workshop at FF&P starting January 2.  (sign up HERE )If you’re already writing in this genre, it’ll provide great insight to the emotional and   psychological connections man and women make. Plus we’ll be following up with a  BDSM—Advanced workshop in April.  And of course nothing speaks to the heart as steamy love scenes do. You may wish to consider joining me for a workshop on adding a little spice to your scenes (1/14-1/27 From Shyness to Steamy love scenes: sign up HERE). 

Please feel free to visit my website www.bdsmforwriters.com
and FF&P for more information on workshops being presented in 2013. Look forward to the wonderful opportunities the new Cosmic calendar reset will bring.    

Live with passion,  

Dr. Charley Ferrer



About the presenter Dr. Charley Ferrer:
Dr. Charley Ferrer is a world renowned Clinical Sexologist, BDSM Expert, and Psychotherapist who has worked in the psychology field for over 15-years. Doctor Charley is an award winning author with over nine books on sexuality and psychology. Her radio and television talk shows have been nominated for best Northeast Regional show. She has lectured throughout the US and overseas on sexuality and psychology issues. Doctor Charley has conducted various lectures geared specifically toward authors on the subjects of BDSM (Dominance and submission), psychology of a criminal minds and serial killers, and the psychology of victims/PTSD/multiple personalities to assist authors in creating more realistic characters and scenarios. These workshops provide authors with an understanding of the psychological and emotional motivations of an individual to help authors create credible depictions of their protagonists and the circumstances surrounding their interactions. Doctor Charley’s charismatic personality ensures each workshop is lively and informative. Participants leave with a sense of confidence and in-depth understanding of the topics discussed. Several authors have gone on to receive book contracts attributing their success to the valuable information received during one of her lectures

6 comments:

Donna Steele said...

Still not sure where I fall on this topic. I've read some now, no pull to write it. I guess I'd have to be a dom, because as I've said before, anyone "hits" me, they draw back a nub. But I am finding it a little intriguing when done right.

Dr. Charley Ferrer said...

Donna,

And there in lays the misconception, "someone hitting you".

Dominance and submission is not about being abusive toward one another but about sharing trust and being vulnerable and accepting of your partner. It’s about one person leading and guiding the relationship and the other enhancing it.

Many Dominants never pick up a whip and their interactions with the submissive are service oriented only. Some individuals are sexual submissives with alpha personalities. There are so many emotional, psychological, and physical levels to BDSM that trying to define them all is like separating the grains of sand in an hourglass.

Live with passion,

Doctor Charley…

Stacy McKitrick said...

I do not see the Jan 2nd class offered on FF&P, only the Jan 14th class. I assume they are different.

Pamala Knight said...

This sounds like a very interesting workshop. Thank you for expounding on all the aspects that us lay folk tend to overlook. It's good to know more about a subject, especially when you're reading or writing it. Good luck with your class.

Mary Frances Roya said...

I have taken every class that Dr. Charley ever gave and I loved them. She takes the time to explain and I asked a bunch of questions. And when her classes ended, I missed learning from her. I friended her on FetLife. And until I put a note in my profile that I only play with hubby. I would get hit on by guys looking for a Domx. And I had a several want me as a bottom.

So Dr Charley, I love learning from you and I might take your class again just because. And no I'm not stalking you.....yet. Tee Hee. Blood and screams from Houston, Texas.

Virginia Nelson said...

As always another great post,Doctor C. You rock. I hope will others will take part in your upcoming workshop. I know I enjoyed it and learned a lot from the experience. You are a well-spring of inspiration and information.